Initiating Change
Today is a new day. People say that all the time. It’s an obvious statement and kind of a lazy use of language. But what does it actually mean? I guess we are saying: today is another round of opportunities, failures, meetings, misses, dangers and rewards ect. The sun comes up and there’s weather and commotion and you eat and piss and do many of the same exact things you did yesterday. We are creatures of habit, after all.
I totally get it. You like what you like and you aren’t generally ready to break free of those habits on any given day. Not the average day at least. But every so often there are freak days. Days where you are either challenged by outside forces in some way that force change on you, or you manage to experience a moment of clarity and challenge yourself in a way that promotes willful change (If you believe in freewill).
There are two scenarios here:
-Something out of our control happens, something that is out of your ordinary scope of experience, and you need to react to it. Because it is involuntary you are going to immediately try to find familiar ground, find your balance and reclaim your comfort zone.
-For some reason, you experience a need to challenge yourself and deliberately call in change of your (seemingly) own will power. The fact that you have made a choice of your own means that you are more likely to move into new territory and lasting change.
It’s reactive verses proactive.
Obviously the second situation is the more desirable situation. It's never pleasant to have the rug yanked out from under you, although these moments can bring about great teachings and healing if you are sensitive and open to the lessons hidden within. It’s better to go with the flow of life gracefully and proactively change as you see it coming or feel the necessity for it.
What does seeking change require? It requires courage of course. But it also requires knowing what you want. Knowing what you need. Do you know what you really need? If you don’t know, it’s time to start exploring.
The good news is, because you are the sole custodian of this package-deal you call your mind/body/spirit, you have ultimate authority. With a good flashlight, and a shield and helmet you can go within by way of meditation and/or psychedelic experience, and begin to consciously clean house. Open a window or two and let some light in; there’s nothing like a nice cross draft. Maybe you realize that demon hiding in the darkest corner is not so scary after all. Begin to vacuum and dust and put things in order. You will likely need to have a garage sale, or just throw a lot of junk in the trash, or better yet on the burn pile!
Once you have done some inner exploration you will begin to see who you are and what you need.
Self knowing is the first stage of healing and change. From self knowing follows compassion and its close cousin, self love. Once you know who you are, you can better understand what you need, and once you know what you need you can go after it and make it a reality. With a willingness to change the things you can…(insert serenity prayer) you will find much beauty and freedom.
This is not just a process of making a list of things to acquire, it’s also a process of making a list of things you need to let go of. In fact, the later is much easier I believe. Let go of that which doesn’t serve you to make room for that which does.
And so, don’t waste any more time! You have everything you need right now. Sit down alone in a quiet room, get comfortable and close your eyes. Don’t try to think about anything, just try to clear your mind and concentrate on your breath. Sit for 10 minutes or more. Tomorrow do this again and then the day after. Do it every day if you can.
Start to write out your thoughts each morning. Don’t try to write well, just jot down what you’re thinking or how you’re feeling. Track your progress. How do you feel about where you are in your life right now? What would you like to see change? What is blocking that change?
What if the point of life is to learn to make peace with the world we live in, the way we live in it. What a better way to spend a life then to work at unraveling the endless great mystery and to do it with joy and playfulness. To find pleasure in learning and growing, in letting go. The process of changing never ends but it does gets easier as you grow along your path.
Embrace your fear and go now into the cave to retrieve your sovereignty. Tomorrow you will emerge into an entirely different world. It will truly be a new day…
“Changes” Oil on board - 2015